Jojo is STRESSED

I wanna run away!
I wanna stop everything immediately!
I wanna just lie down on the bed!
I wanna do nothing!
I wanna flush myself in the toilet bowl!
I wanna kill myself!
I wanna quit!
I wanna do so many thing at one time!
I wanna tell him and him off!

I am so upset and I wanna do so many negative things but I can't. I can't run away from responsibilities. I can't stop doing what I'm supposed to do. I can't get enough rest and sleep. I can't avoid reality. I can't leave my job. I can't scold people. I can't share what's bugging me all these while with other people.

I want but I can't. This is so STRESSFUL. I feel like bursting out but how?
I think I am going kuku soon...

I'm down

My eye's new friend before they get very dry and then I go blind lol**

Not taking care of my eyes since I did lasik 2 years ago. I admit and felt so bad for them. Finally, after working like a cow for almost 4 months, I am down with running nose, cough and sorethroat. Went to the clinic this morning and doctor said that my eyes are so dry and blamed it on the air-condition in the office. I told her NO, I was not getting enough sleep for the past 4 months. Working late, sleep late and wakes up really early to go to the office to avoid the traffic. My lifestyle has changed and I became a workaholic!

To add on that, I gained so much weight that many of my friends and relatives thought I am expecting my second baby. I have been eating late dinners and consuming alcohol quite often. Late dinners accompanied with good, fattening & unhealthy food. This lifestyle is so wrong and I think I should stop for my health reason. But at the same time, am enjoying the people and the chat especially with my fellow close colleagues. So, I am in a dilemma whether to change or not. Change is not easy and it takes a lot of time and courage to achieve. Let just bear with it till end of the year, until we move to the new office next month, and hope my worklife balance will become normal soon.

Mixed feelings

Work has been very hectic for the past 2 months. Some targets met but it's not up to my expectation. More improvements to come but running out of time. Today is the last day of September. Q4 is around the corner. October is the month where your superiors give your final points on your performance for the whole year and it determines your bonus and increments. How to work more efficiently? How to achive target in a short period of time? How to work in an effieicnt way and get results immediately? What about the relationship with colleagues? Our department used to be very united but I felt the change last week. It is because we need time to be normal again or it will continue to be like this? It is because we have a new teamlead? It is because big boss was not around for 6 weeks? I am actually feeling stress not because of workload only but partly because colleague cum friend has become alien for the past one week. Am feeling so lost and confused at the same time. Recharged for the last 2 days and hope this week will be a better week. Trying my best to work hard, to help the bosses (and myself definately) to complete some of the projects and make sure our house is clean and tidy so that we will be confident when there are visitors. Cheer up Jojo! Q4 will be good to you. Fingers crossed!

Yeah, add oil please!

OMG! Didn't know I have neglected my blog again and it's more than a year! I suddenly thought of my blog yesterday and realized all the pictures were gone. No idea why but I managed to re-upload the pictures again but some I can't retrieve as I do not keep any copy of the pictures in my hard disc.

I hope I will have more time to write as this was one of the way for me to destress when I face difficulties not only at work, but also in life. I do not have the time to compose because I was really busy with my little one since birth. Since I stopped breastfeeding and my little one is a grown up baby now (17 months old), I realized I have more time for myself to continue doing what I used to do before pregnant. Other than writing to release stress, of course I will shop till I drop la. Two days ago I really shopped till pokai but I felt good about it. Lol

Felt so disturbed after the huddle session with new TL. He mentioned a lot of things and I find it quite hard to digest but of course with my character, I did not question him la. Hope everything goes well and we will accept the change slowly. He is here to help us work more efficient and support us so we must do the same too. Help him to help us and we shall work happily as a team. Looking forward to work with him, and also more drinking sessions after work.

Jojo, add oil, add oil ya!

My first pregnancy

It's been so long I did not update my blog. I could say that I've abandoned this blog when I knew I was pregnant. Pregnancy period was not easy. I had the worst morning sickness (I think it's the worst because it's my first pregnancy!) for almost 2 months that I had to stay home for 5 weeks!

I had the best shelter as I moved to my mum's house. She cooked for me (as I get hungry easily) but I only managed to eat small portions every meals. I was fussy with the food then. Nothing taste nice except for mercury taste after meals. I felt nausea all the time. My morning sickness became whole day sickness as I can vomit anytime in a day. My job was sleep, eat, then vomit. Yucks!

As time pass, my condition was slowly back to normal in my 2nd trimester except that my belly gets bigger and bigger day by day. I can eat up to 5 - 7 meals a day. I do crave for some particular food but it doesn't last long. After few days, I will crave for other food again. The worst craving that I had was my last trimester. I craved for soya bean drink all the time. I can consume 2-3 big glasses a day, but of course without ice and sugar la.

Am sure many of you know that I'm a moody and bad tempered person. Pregnancy doesn't make me worst but I was very sensitive towards anything people say, and anything people do. Oh well, especially my love ones, pity them right? I get annoyed with the lame jokes my brother made, I get pissed off with my mum's sacarstic attitude, I get angry when my hubby repeats what he said and I get fed up when my in-law asked too much. I do ignored some colleagues in the office as I don't feel like giving them response. Some likes to make fun of my pregnancy. At first it was funny but after that I found it annoying. So, ignorance is the best solution!