Embarassed

Won an award in the department but don't feel good at all. I should thank the person who nominated me but the way he provide the feedback is too perfect till none of my colleagues are happy about it except for outstation colleagues.  My supervisor did congratulate me but I just realised that she is not genuine after speaking to my boss 30 minutes ago. Supervisor told my boss that I did not appear to be who I am in the feedback form. T.T

Looks like many of them were talking bad things about it since the day my boss announced about the award. I felt so embarrased now ! I felt like crying but no tears. I felt like digging a hole and hide myself but I don't know how.

Who should I blame ? The sales rep for nominating me ? The boss for being not familiar with the job I'm doing ? Myself (of course) for having achievements few years back but not this year ? The department is so competitive this year. Politics is not strong here but people here are very fake at some times. I just do my part. I don't need recognisions and then kena condemed after that. I don't want. I seriously don't want. I'm very sad actually. I don't want awards to demotivate myself !

Sad...